Hi all, lets start the week with a laugh. I have been waiting for a guy to come and look at our bedroom I took off the wallpaper and the plaster looks like it needs urgent attention. Well hes just had a look at it and said he could sort it out in one of two ways. One way being ten times more expensive than the other so I settled for the easier cheaper option. Just as he was leaving needing a bit of reasureance I asked will it last along time then. His reply"well it will see you out" As my onc said it was s..t or bust time with my condition should I ask for his opinion?
Love Debsxx hubby and I have not stopped laughing!
When I was diagnosed I got the usual "You are lucky they caught it early" Eventually I said I would be even luckier if I didnt have cancer at all. A friend who suffers from depression rang me to tell me all about her depression and she told me that "people say depression is worse than cancer" Oh well again how lucky am I !
Also as I am currently on the sick at the moment I have had a huge loss in pay and obviously this has caused money worries but my dad and his sister said "Its your own fault, you shouldnt have debts, you should have ancticipated something like this could happen!" I am only 41 and certainly did not live my life just waiting for a life threatening illness to hit me!
My dad also said that I should be back at work 2 wks after finishing chemo because everything will be out of my system and if I dont go back to work straight away I am LAZY and just conning people.
Needless to say my dad has stopped speaking to me because I dared to get annoyed with what he was saying. I thought that at a time like this my family would rally round. You can choose your friends...
Anyway I totally agree with all the previous comments, and have you also noticed that if you are wearing a hat or bandana strangers give you that sympathetic look, and smile even going round the supermarket, it was weird at first but now I am so used to it.
I'm afraid i smile at people in headscarves because i used to hate people either staring or looking the other way, and also i used to feel absolutely fed up when i had to wear hats or scarves and smiling faces did used to make me smile back and feel abit better, Anna
May be you friend doesn't realise that when you have cancer there is a fine line to getting depression as well,
Sorry you are havig financial problems,have you been intouch with C A B,a friend of mine who had a serious illness a few years back and they really helped her,
Hi all. reading this thread has really cheered me up today. had a good laugh at comments, most of which i have also heard through the last 12 years since first diagnosed. When i had recurrence last year, told would loose hair with chemo, my onc said 'think of the money saved at hairdressers' felt like sh**t after bombshell of more treatment, but when i calmed down, had to laugh, she was right.
Your comment reminded me what an aunty said when I said I was having a mastectomy;
"Lets face it you were never going to be on page 3" and I must admit that did cheer me up, I think sometimes you do have a bit of a gallows humour about it all and sometimes you have to laugh!
I think I prefer it when people can try and have a laugh rather than say all the so-called phrases to try to make us feel better eg so brave, looking well etc
Thanks for the advice about the CAB, I am just about to go on incapacity benefit and I just thought there was nobody that could help with my money problems but I will contact them.
For Sue: zotam if you are still reading this thread
I found a really interesting book yetserday by Virginia Ironside called 'You'll get over it': The Rage of Bereavement
The author challenges those simplistic notions about 'stages of grief' and 'working through it'. A refreshing different look at the chaos of beraevement. You and Simon might find it helpful..its not like other bereavement books.
I have posted this for new user Agne Jo, Facilitator
I can't help it - I have to share this.
My husband said he wanted to spend this summer holiday together (as opposed to me going with kids to Lithuania to visit another set of their grandparents) because it's probably my last.
I know it could be, but the cancer was caught early, with all lymphnodes clear, so doctors told me to make plans for another summer.
hi know how you all feel we was sitting round having a big family meal when my sister in law pipes up at the quietest moment of all "so you have only got 1 nipple then" ......x
Bumping this up again and to tell you what happened today
I am just trying to get back to work after treatment has ended. The Tamoxifen is making walking very painful. The lady I catch the bus with said " Whenever I feel depressed about my life, I always think of YOU" Thanks!!!!!!!!!
When mum was dx with bc, I found I was being so careful not to say the wrong thing. One of my friends has a friend (I don't know her) but she was not doing too well and had not got long to live. Mum asked how my friend was and I said "well she is not good, as her friend who has cancer doesn't have long to live" omg I realised straight away, but made it worse by saying "it's ok its the serious kind" (yes I know it's all serious, but it was one of those situations where you try and dig yourself out and make it worse)!. I rang back later and said mum, I am sorry that came out wrong. She laughed and said don't be daft, you were being honest. I know you didn't mean any harm. I felt terrible I can tell you!!!!!!!
When I was having chemo, being bald and overweight and depressed, my sister told me that she would not come and see me at all, because she did not want me to feel jealous of the way she looks or her wonderful new job. (She is very slim and goodlooking with lovely blond curly hair, very successfull, always our (late) father's pet and quite a few years younger than me)
Me jealous? yes definitely! Of course I am!
She lives a 45 min drive away and I did not see her for for more than a year. (It still hurts when I write this.)
In a few weeks she is having an op in her knee which will immobilise her for a few weeks. Maybe I shouldn't see her so she won't be jealuos of the way I walk?
Cava all I can say is you rise above it like the beautiful woman you obviously are. I have a few friends who've behaved like that.. I'm afraid to say they're more pen pals now, by my choice.
ok, I have some good comments: -it's good to loose hairs, at least you don't have to shave your legs! (after I started my third year of chemo) -do you think you are the only one who has problems? I have problems too, I just don't make it public like you do (from a colleague (I worked all the time when I could), she was trying to pick up a fight and I asked her to stop it because it was not a good day) -you are just pretending your arm is painful, it is just an excuse not to wash the dishes (my sister, four days after surgery) -you are used to this kind of things (both my parents died before I was 37), nobody in my family died so far, so for me it would be a bigger shock to get cancer than for you! (a french ex colleague of mine)
more classical ones -you are my heroe! -you are always so pessimistic -you have to think positive -you have to make yourself beautiful, you should always wear a wig (here we have 35 degrees for at least two months in summer -you should wear your wig on the beach!! (???)