All Is Well Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped into the next room I am I and you are you Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, Speak to me in the easy way which you always used Put no difference in your tone, Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household world that it always was, Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, Just around the corner. All is well.
I am sooo sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. My sister died last year at the age of 40 (brain, liver and lung mets). She too fought like hell not to let go but eventually slipped into a coma and passed away quietly. I know right now your pain is unbearable and you probably don't know how you are going to face the rest of your life without her... and I am sure there is the sibling guilt as to why her? I really stuggled with the fact that being from a family of 3 siblings (2 girls and one boy) that she "draw the short straw" and not me. I have since realised that life isn't fair, and that bad things happen to good people. Somewhere through all the tears, hurt and immense pain, you will learn to smile again. I couldn't remember my sister pre-chemo (when I closed my eyes i could only see her "treatment face" (as she called it)... but that soon passed and now close my eyes to remember the sister I grew up with, shared secrets with and hoped to grow old with. Let yourself grieve..only you will know how long you need and what works best for you. Everyone has their own coping mechanism. I chose to go back to work the day after my sister passed away as I didn't want to have any "quiet time". It was incredibly hard but I felt that I needed to keep going and deal with the grief when my brain/heart and soul were ready. Some people thought I was mad (and felt it appropriate to state so) I just knew that if I stopped for a moment, I would fall apart and my family needed me to be strong. What I am really trying to say, is that losing a sibling is not something we ever plan for (or think will happen to us). There is no right or wrong way to cope and I found that the people I spoke to,generally couldn't relate. What I have realised that although time doesn't heal, it does soften the blow. Your heart will stop feeling like it is breaking and you will be able to think about, & talk about your sister with love and laughter without feeling like you are about to fall apart. I have a friend who lost his wife to cancer and he said that he felt that he was given the gift of time to say goodbye. He said that there are many people who lose loved ones who didn't have the opportunity to tell them how much they were loved and how sorely they were going to be missed. I know that this won't ease the pain but have the comfort of knowing that you sister was surronded by those who loved her. Take care Avon67
so sorry to hear that your dear sister has passed away.this disease has robbed you of a wonderful sister but it can never take away the memories you will always carry in your heart of her and the times you sheared together .i lost my own dear sis in march this year to bowel cancer and the pain is still with me ,but i try to remember the happy times we had together and the mad things we used to get up to ! it helps me through on the days when i dont think i can go on. even with my own battle with cancer i know she is still with me ,holding my hand .i do wish you strength in the next few weeks and beyond ,feel free to pm me if you wish to chat further ,take care lynn xx
I feel my words will be inadequate, when others have spoken so elequantly. I will be thinking of you, and send you much love and sincere condolences. x
I'm so terrribly sorry for your loss, I'm sure your sister left you and her family with some wonderful memories, as time passes it's those memories that will make you smile again.
thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and your sisters family. xxx
So sorry to hear your sad news. You sound like a lovely caring sister and your brother in law, niece and nephew are very lucky to have you looking out for them.