Hi all ....I am one year on and I agree that the fear never goes away ..I think about it every day ....I do try not to let it interfere with my life as what happens happens !!!But every ache pain lump bump cough there I am thinking the worst !!! I should be ashamed of myself wghen i read some of the posts when it has recurred for somepeople many tears on ...my mum in law was one one and unfortunately she did pass away .My doc and BC nurse have told me that I wont habe an ultrasound until 2 yeras after first dx ..have just had a physical exam at my fist anniv appt .Cant say that I was very reassured !!! I cant make them give me one can I . I have awful bone pain but he dismissed it as osteo arthritis going on the results of my bone scan last year !! Am i being paranoid .I really do take notice of the advice on here and if someone wants to tell me to get a grip and give me a kick up the backside then please feel free
nixxic, Thank you for such an open honest post.....again a refreshing [ not sure if thats the right word ] to hear from someone who also feels like me. I lost my friend when she was 45...not even 2 yrs post dx and leaving behind 2 daughters, a husband and a father to whom she was the only child who had also lost his wife [ her mum ] to breast cancer 3years previously. Please don't apologise about having a rant......thats what this thread is all about....us voicing our fears and anger.....and finding out we are not alone in how we feel.
My aunt will get the results of her endoscopy on tuesday.....dx with secondaries 15 yrs after original BC dx......she is losing suffering a drastic amount of weight which there seems to be no explanation for.........another reason why I don't complacency!
hi karen ,so sorry to hear about your friends reacurrance ,it always hits hard dosnt it when you think its going to be ok then it creeps up on you again . my sister died with real dignity ,in a hospice ,she had bowel liver and stomach involvment ,and her last days were calm and very dignified ,she was dreading this part of her journey ,but slipped away peacefully . i hope i can show the same bravery when my time comes as it sure will with my liver secondaries ,but as you say we are all going through this journey and nobody knows who will pit stop on the way ,im dreading it im not afraid to say ,its not the being dead its the getting there that freaks me out .all this media pap about pink etc really gets to me ,hey run a few less miles and you can beat cancer ,my ass !!! NOBODY not even famous people have special privaleges when it comes to the end . and jane i wept reading your posting you tell it like it is and honesty is what we all need to hear .i wish you strength in whatever comes ,keep telling it like it is . much love to all and especially your friend karen . lynn xx
Hi Lynn, Thank you for your kind wishes. I know you suffered a great deal with losing your sister.....thankfully her last days were calm and peaceful....as were my friends when she died 2 yrs ago....there seems to be more dignity when spending your last days in a hospice rather than an hospital.
I think most of us share your fear of a painful death.......and you are so right....when it comes to the end it doesn't matter how famous or rich you are.
I hope things are remaining stable with you, will e-mail you.
My aunt, who I mentioned has bone secondaries, diagnosed 15 years after original BC dx, and who had an endoscopy recently to find out the cause of her unability to eat very much and severe weight loss had the results of the endoscopy yesterday....I was a bit confused at first because of the way my mum relayed it to me....but after speaking to my aunt it woud appear that, from the biopsies they took when doing the endoscopy [ which also showed up alot of severe inflammation ] that my aunt has breast cancer cells in her stomach now too, they were expecting to find a mass but found cells,. Her medical team are having a meeting tomorrow to discuss which way to proceed now and my aunt has been told that chemotherapy will probably be recommended [ she never had it originally ], however my aunt is quite adamant she will not go through chemotherapy as she does not feel it will prolong her life.....I have said to her to wait and see what oncologist comes back with first and then look at quality/quantity etc., She did ask if this would considerably shorten her life and was told ''yes''.
As you can imagine my aunt and all the family are distressed by this news.
Everyone has to make their own decision on whether or not to have chemotherapy - but maybe you could point your aunt here to see that there are numerous women on the secondary thread who have had repeated chemos and are still here and still enjoying their lives,
cathy, Thank you for your reply, unfortunately my aunt does not have a computer......but I will offer her to come and use mine if she wants, so she is able to read other peoples experiences etc., with secondaries and their treatments. Unfortunately because of the how long ago my aunt was originally dx she does not have a breast care nurse [ they weren't available then ], also. although being in a position to be entitled to do so, she refuses to be put intouch with a Macmillan nurse and also refuses to claim DLA or any other benefit she's entitled to.