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Appearance and looking good - tips, tricks and advice
Hi all
Leah (BCC) has suggested I start this thread to see how much action it gets! Please join in if you wish to discuss anything relating to appearance, clothing, make up, hair etc at ANY point before, during or after your treatment. I know there are plenty of discussions about these things but they are scattered throughout the various treatment/living with.. threads and I thought it might be useful to have one place to talk about all things appearance. If there is enough interest BCC may even introduce a dedicated "looking good" section of the forums.
SO.....! Does anyone have any great tips to share or advice they would like to ask the community about? Resources for pretty headscarves, post-surgery bras or swimwear? Tips on getting your wig right or faking your eyebrows? Tried those new mascaras that claim to enhance eyelash growth? (I'm sceptical myself but would love to be proved wrong!) Body lotions and shower gels to minimise irritation during treatment, and soothe afterwards? Advice on colouring and styling your hair after chemo? Anything anyone wants to talk about really!
I think it can be really helpful if ANYTHING can make you look and feel a little bit better. I went on one of the Look Good Feel Better sessions and would highly recommend them to anyone if you haven't been on one. There was a long waiting list at my hospital but it was worth it. Anything that can give you a bit of a lift in these awful situations is well worth it I think, plus I am always a fan of free stuff....!
So anyway sorry this is a long message but please anyone feel free to join in, and best wishes to everyone xxxxx
Hi sallieannie,
I posted on the other thread saying I thought this was a great idea!
I don't really have any advice to give a the mo, as I am a bit stuck in the surgery mode at the mo. 3rd lot coming up and haven't even got into chemo, rads, hormone therapy yet! But its coming and its a really good idea to gather this info under one thread roof!
You are right there is a lot of info out there but sprayed around on other threads so Well done you! for starting this one.
I am sure there will be lots of people along to share their tips.
Wandyx
Hi Girls I am not sure what area you are in, but I have just posted something on the chemo section with regard to Trevor Sorbie, who offers a service to patients who have had chemo and have hair and wig problems. It just might be helpful?
Debbie xx
If you are a bigger breasted lady, and have access Bravissimo are fabulous at fitting bras, they don't have specific mastectomy bras but that was an extra attraction for me. I have a "normal" full cup bra which fully contains my " wobbly" and is undetectable even in just bra. This was such a big boost for me. The service was private, the girl knowledgeable and the whole thing a pleasant experience, they couldn't have bee nicer.
It's probably a good idea to visit in the week as they do get busy at the weekends, I think they do do appointments.
Pat
Hi all!
I would def. be interested in such a section - especially re: the uneven boobs question! My right (bad) one still seems to be shrinking though I finished (2nd lot) rads 6 months ago and the nipple is getting higher and more upwardly pointing - very odd! Tried stuffing my bra with tissues, but it just looks weird! Anyone got any ideas?!
All the best, Love Sarahx
Definitely recommend Looking Good, Feeling Better courses! Two hours of laughter plus really useful tips on looking after your skin, putting on make up to counteract the effects of chemo, plus a great bag of goodies. I did it half way through my chemo and certainly it did what it said on the tin!
SJ x
LGFB was good, even for someone like me who doesn't do the makeup thing, though I'm very skeptical about the cosmetics industry generally.
My biggest thing has been finding headgear that I'm comfortable with, and I think I've finally got something I like, after spending rather too much money on stuff I don't think I'll ever wear. Never mind, I'll be able to find a home for it somewhere, I'm sure.
A couple of good places for headgear, I'm sure there are more: scarfhut.co.uk, annabandana.co.uk, bandanashop.co.uk.
Hi all, this is a great idea. I went to the LGFB session and it was really good, and the goody bag was great. Good tip from the session was how to find your eyebrows, and the eyeliner tip on the eyelids to frame your eyes when you have no eyelashes. Still doing that now 18 months since last tax, as eyelashes haven't really returned. Benefit browzings is fantastic - still using now as one eyebrow hasn't grown back properly. Even when I lost most of my eyebrow hair with tax, people weren't able to tell without very close scrutiny because I found browzings so good.
Nicola Jane very helpful - branch in City of London (handily near Barts) Swimwear more expensive than I would normally pay, but halterneck tankini makes me feel good - and very hard to spot that I've had a mastectomy. Can also be used as a top. They also have padded bras which avoid any worries about looking a bit lopsided.
When I couldn't even wear a comfy in the early stages and after rads, as I'm quite small anyway, I wore quite a few layers, some scarves, or biggish rose/flower brooches.
I used aloe vera, baby products with lavender (a lovely friend of a friend gave me a box of little white people baby products with chamomile and lavender to use post rads), Simple hair products to avoid irritating scalp, udderly cream for hand and foot syndrome.
Sorry about long list (can't sleep!)
All the best Alice x
Sarah68, if the difference isn't very big, try using one or more nursing pads on the smaller side. I managed to get some washable ones a couple of years ago, but haven't seen them in the shops since. You have to work out where to put them to get the most natural effect. If that isn't enough, you could try a 'chicken fillet' on just the smaller side. Also, styles with slight padding might make the difference less noticeable.
One of the online sites that does mastectomy bras also does silicone bits that are meant to fill in missing sections of breast, but they are very expensive.
Cheryl, you can get washable breast pads at Boots, if it helps.
http://www.boots.com/en/Boots-Washable-Breast-Pads_25416/
Another website for scarves (tie yourself) very light cotton and comfortable and a bargain (about £12 for 3) http://www.theindiashop.co.uk.
I would also recommend 'Headstrong' via the BCC site homepage. I was put off by the choices of headscraves and hair pieces in the publications but at Headstrong you get to try on the different type of head wear available to see what suits you. You can then make a much more informed decision when buying on line. I've gone for fringes and hair pieces that I poo poo'd from the publications as they looked so dated.
I've just bought some lash lipocils by 'Talika'. A bit early to report on how good they are as only on my second FEC and not last any lashes yet, but bought this to try and keep my lashes as nice as poss for as long as poss. I have also taken to putting loads of mascara on (got a fab Dior one). I'm thinking that if I build up my lashes now and then lose them, wearing falsh ones won't look so odd.
Lisa
Hi
On the eyebrow front i have always used eye shadow applied with angled brush (even with full brows to fill in gaps) which is easier to apply than a pencil. You can also match the colour better as many of the pencils have too much red in them.
Permanent lipstick in bold colours instantly lift your face, particularly when going Commando. Mayballine have really good permanent ones - bit pricey but you don't need to keep topping it up.
If you are going Commando blusher on your temples and under your jawlines also helps to lift your face.
Am an avid make-up wearer so more tha happy to share what works for me.
- it appears, from my many sorties to the shops, that headscarves are 'in' this summer, so i will be stacking up. Marks had a few mannequins with headscarves, which has given me some ideas about how to wear them.
i'm aiming for mx and immediate recon. As i always used to wear matching undies i would like to go back to this once sorted. How long before the sports bra can be dropped? Are there things to avoid with a recon? And is there anywhere that sells matching sets for either mx or recon - i'm thinking pretty stuff not just white. Any advice appreciated.
There are so many great tips on here already! Staycalmandcarryon (love the name!) this site looks like it has nice stuff, I haven't used it myself so don't know how good they are, but their stuff looks pretty
http://www.amoena-online.co.uk/Lingerie/Matching-Sets/c-1-3-11/
I am really struggling with general clothing issues at the moment. I am a bit uneven and I definitely agree with Alice that layering, drapey scarves, big brooches etc are good. Happily there seem to be a lot of them around in the shops at the moment. I haven't worn a bra since my surgery in Nov, I had an LD flap and am still a bit sore and lumpy under my arm and around my side. so I need clothes that are soft and not too tight. Also I have a Hickman line (that I HATE
so I want stuff that is high necked to cover it. It is so hard to find clothes that are pretty, relatively trendy (I'm 33) but not too clingy or low cut. Oh yeah, and cheap! Sigh...sometimes it is easier just to stay in your jama's and not leave the house....but I don't want to give in to this!
Alice thanks for the recommendation of Browzings, I might have to treat myself, I love Benefit stuff! I have finished chemo and my hair is coming back but my eyebrows are still a bit rubbish.
I have a Hickman line too and the bit over the collarbone is a bit obvious, I raid Claire's accessories Tesco etc for necklaces that have bigger beads etc going over that area rather than chains or tiny beads. That helps to disguise that part. It is a pain finding necklines to suit covering dressing and not really high necked ( hate that look just doesn't suit me),
Ah well gives me something to do on good days mooching through online stores and shops with a pal.
Pat
Hi all!
Thanks Cheryl for the tips re:nursing pads and "chicken fillets"! i know the sort of thing you mean - but what is the "official" name for them - is it sillicone pads or something?! Also interested in the tips about Browzings. Thanks for starting this up, sallieannie.
All the best, Sarahx
Hi
Staycalmandcarryon, I have bought several matching sets from amoena-as mentioned by previous poster- some are pricey, but it is lovely to find bras and briefs that don't look medical! I have also had a few from the m and s post surgery range- I have found them hit and miss-at times they are a bit boring, but I keep an eye on the ranges and have had some very pretty sets which I'v worn soon after mx, recon and since with a small prosthesis (I'm nearly 3 yrs since dx).
I also found a powder pencil good for brows. I used little strokes, then brushed through them (which they showed at the LGFB session) and close friends commented on the fact I hadn't lost my brows-which I had-so it worked!
I wore scarves all the time, and I found cutting down cheap sarongs was a good option as well. Big earrings worked for me too.
All the best to everyone. Great thread.
c x
post deleted
Hello,
I can definitely recommend Benefits Browzings for when eyebrows go sparse. Having lost nearly all of mine now I've switched to Benefits eyebrow pencil which comes with a little brush and is quite waxy so it's stays put. After buying loads of hats and scarves I came across the Bandana shop http://www.bandanashop.co.uk and their videos for turning buffs into headgear. I haven't worn anything else since (including my wig which i find so hot especially during the hot flushes!). They are very cool and comfy and I can use them again for skiing and walking the dog!
Hi there, on the hat front I can strongly recommend
Suburban Turban -
specially made for us lasses in soft materials by a very trendy young milner, some of the hats are a bit pricely, but I bought two and they lasted me the whole 7 months I needed them, cheers Nicola
I got a great wig from these people - http://www.wigstoreuk.co.uk The service was excellent, the wig reasonably priced, delivery was very prompt and I'm very pleased with the end result.
This site has a good video offering some ideas on scarf tying:
http://www.titillatingturbans.com and I really like the scarves I bought from http://www.suburbanturban.co.uk (they also have some good suggestions on scarf tying). I did think their hats, although lovely, were on the expensive side though.
I also have nice headwear from these two:
http://www.boldbeanies.co.uk
http://www.buffwear.co.uk
With regard to post op bras, I am a difficult size to buy for normally (30D) but I found Royce absolutely brilliant, especially their 'Silver' front fastening bra designed for the first few weeks after an mx. They have some nice matching sets too but the only downside is the price - far above what I'd normally pay but having struggled to get anything at all I bit the bullet and bought 3 in the hopes of finding some other ones later on.
The staff at http://www.chantillyrose.co.uk were absolutely brilliant. They tried very hard to get some things in my size and then when they couldn't were very upfront about it, instead of either stringing me along for ages or trying to get me to buy something that wouldn't fit, which some other well-known retailers tried to do!
Thanks for the link to the Boots pads, Kittie Kat. I've been searching and asking around a bit, and it seems that the American Cancer Society has a catalogue of BC products which are
typcally priced in dollars as they are priced in pounds here--there might be tax issues if ordered from the UK, but it's a definite price difference.
They include sized, washable post-lumpectomy pads in a couple of shapes, and you can remove some of the padding to get them just right for yourself, so if in doubt you'd get them a bit big and then customise.
We could do with something like this, whether on the health service (perhaps for anyone left with a considerable difference but not getting/needing reconstruction) or as an inexpensive personal purchase. The increase in the number of younger women, the increase in likely survival times even for us older women, the increase in early detection with lumpectomies rather than full mastectomies mean a lot of us have years in which we would like to go back to looking like our normal selves.
BCC, is there anyone we could approach as a group to manufacture or import items like these at low cost? Could they be VAT-free? If there is a UK group stocking low-cost items like this, I haven't found it. Even one group which apparently does, doesn't seem to have them on their UK website, or has hidden it away so I can't find it behind their more expensive products.
What do you think?
Cheryl
Sorry to be so late getting back to you, Sarah. I think the chicken fillets are officially 'silicone enhancers', but most lingerie shops or departments will know what you mean by chicken fillets.
Cheryl
That has just reminded me I bought some of those silicone things ages ago in Primark. I must go and dig them out (or one of them at least!) They were £3 or something silly like that, and were in the underwear section. They are £20 in BHS!!
I was just coming on here to say I have just been in M&S and noticed they had some really pretty post-surgery bras. They also had a little tag on saying the VAT would be knocked off, and that a donation would be made to a BC charity with each purchase. Thought this might be helpful for anyone looking for pretty underwear, they had matching knickers for them too.
Hi everyone, just found this thread and love it!
I am about to start TAX and the Onc nurse mentioned that dark coloured nail varnish might help with ridging but my cuticles are not brilliant now and nails also brittle.
Need to give myself a bit of a manicure but not sure what to use.
If anyone has any tips it would be great to hear from you!
Thanks
DaisyGirl
I have gel nails for toes and fingers. An led light sets thevarnish so its instantly dry. Last for about 3 weeks, no chipping etc. has kept my nails from splitting quite a bit. Also no faffing with re applying and taking off varnish.
I have just had my 15th weekly tax today, after 6 FEC.
Reflexology is good too, have a treatment every month. Very relaxing. Chemo team say its ok to have it.
x sarah
Hi Sarah
Thanks for this, I have not heard of Gel nails, do you know where I might be able to buy it?
Thanks
Gina
hi daisygirl, the best tip i can give u is "shellac nails" done in salons, my sis a beatician and has had many ladies with what we have. basically, a good manicure or pedicure, then the final polish of ur choice sealed with uv light and lasts at least a month. so ur not faffing around in between!! good luck xx alex xx
morning ladies
i have experience of using rapidlash from boots. bit expensive £40 but defo worked for me, having worn false lashes throughout last nov and dec (i eventually pulled them out - accidently pulling my own out as well) bought the rapid lash and in 6 weeks they were brilliant! really full and fanlike. couple of weeks ago Look mag had an article from their own beaty ed about it who has had bc
j xx
shelac sounds the same as gel, maybe a different make, hence the different name. It's a salon treatment.
x sarah
I got Rapidlash on the recommendation of some other women at an LGFB session. It's too soon to say whether it will help (chemo just finished, so I thought the time was ideal), but it does perhaps have a slight darkening effect, and the tiny white lower lashes I have left at least appear to be there (just). I mind the loss of my lashes more than anything else--I've kept about half the top ones, but all the lower ones disappeared, and even now that there is a short white fringe it's hard to put mascara on them without poking myself in the eye. When I bother, I try to make up the difference with liner. And of course besides looks, eyelashes help to protect your eyes.
Incidentally, even if you aren't a big makeup wearer, I recomnmend the LGFB sessions as pleasant and sociable--great if you have found yourself isolated at home.
Cheryl
Hi - Fab thread. I think I may even try a buff!!
Back a few posts HICKMAN LINE COVERING - I have found some FairTrade vests from M&S that are sleveless but highish at the front. Still low enough that they are not round my neck but high enough to cover my line and dressing. They are in the undies section of the shop and come in packs of two for £9 ish. Black, white, blue, purple, grey, yellow. I wear them under everything and they mean I can wear my normal clothes. I also wear them at night as they keep the line 'tucked in' and I do not worry about rolling over and getting it caught.
Hope this helps someone!!
Thanks for all the tips here - I am looking for different hats etc this thread has given me the confidence to try something different!! Just got to wait for the post now.....
Sadie xx