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Standing outside the dark, dark woods.
Right then. Here we go.
Am facing the dark, dark woods. It's been a really difficult walk to get here but now it's here and on Monday 20th December 2010 i am entering it.
I am armed: Determination? Check. Positive attitude? Check. Hair cut short in preparation? Check. Bras thrown away? Check. Humour? Check. Breadcrumbs as a trail to get out? Nope. There is only forward, never back.
My poor old lymphs have been hanging on grimly but now need back up. All that's left in the armoury is the nuclear pile (6 of them), so back up is on the way.
So there is no choice but take my first tentative step into the woods. Torch is being tightly gripped and compass is firmly attached.
If you are standing looking at those woods and need to step in - take heart - you aren't alone! I'm in there somewhere!!
Hi there
Your post took me right back to how I was feeling this time last year. I was entering the dark, dark woods then and was terrified of the unknown. But a year on I have come out the other side, a bit battered but ok.
Believe me - once you step into the dark woods you will find light -I found the reality was no where near as bad as the fear of the unknown.
I will be thinking of you on Monday
Big hugsxx
Love the analogy! I own a wood...and deep dark woods also have unexpected delights in them such as nuts and deer and bluebells and mossy logs etc...lets hope we can all find a good spot in there...ps I'm in there somewhere too!
Hi Lella and I must have entered the deep dark wood at about the same time last year. Tumbled out into the light in Sept hope you find the deer and the bluebells along the way and a mossy log to sit on. Good luck along your way.Jackie
Ok, so I didn't have chemo so have no idea what you're about to face, but here are three motos that you might like to pack in your napsack...
1. When the going gets tough, the tough make cupcakes, or any other sweet confection that takes your fancy and your mind off things.
2. Keep busy and carry on. A take on that old war motivational poster, and your username!
3. When you're going through hell, keep going. This one was given to me by a dear friend. Keep going and don't look backwards.
I trot these motos out whenever appropriate and required. I hope you'll find something in them too.
Take care.
Clare x
In the woods there are many good surprises; there are people who you counted as acquaintances who pop in and offer:, lifts, meals, chats, support, offers to do shopping. There are true friends in the woods too; the friends who bring flowers and sit... and really listen, the friends who give you a warm cuddle and mop your tears. In the wood named 'Breast Cancer Care' there are new friends who will listen and sympathize and advise.
You are not alone.
AlexG
i agree with alexg xxxxxx
My toes are right on the edge of the woods - already in the shadows, and this time tomorrow I'll be stepping in - poss. kicking and screaming, (just for sh*ts and giggles...) and terrifying my OH who is used to calm, laid back, matter of fact me.
I'm hoping it's a Harry Potter wood... scary as hell on the outside, but there's always a possibility of a centaur... so long as we evade the spiders.
This forum will be my torch - and nothing is quite so scary when it's not completely dark - if I see your torch glimmering back, I'll be sure to stop and say hi.
Sophie xx
What I love about this site is the positivity.
I'm still in that spot looking into the trees, but it feels like I've looked down the edge of the wood and seen figures waiting to go in too, all wearing the same look of grim determination. If I'm really quiet I can hear the voices of those who have travelled here before me coaxing me on.
Thank you for reminding me about the treasures in the wood. I like the idea of a Harry Potter wood or maybe an Enid Blyton wood, I just need to avoid those Goblins!
Have added all the words of wisdom to my knapsack and just waiting for the push forward. I will really appreciate other travellers flashing their torch every now again and i'll flash back. (Only my torch - naughty!)
xx
I'm a little way in and will be taking further steps tomorrow, although it is dark and scary, there are also many pinpricks of light too!
I just comfort myself with by steeping into the woods now, I am doing my very best to prevent a second visit in the future..
Come on girls, lets go together, although some may be further in front than others, we can all help one another through.
SJ xx
Hi All,
Will be joining you a bit later so will bring extra supplies of everything we will all need
Sarah.xxx
Excellent, we will need them!
SJ xx
Can you bring gin? x
Hi
I'm shining my torch from the other side of the woods to give you something to aim at. There is a path through and you will find people along the way to help you.
I didn't take any gin, but red wine helped keep the monsters at bay!
Sue xx
Will pack the Gin in preparation
what a wonderful thread this is, surgery next Friday not seeming so scary & all that follows not so bad either as will be able too look forward to catching up with you lot & i know you will help if i get a little lost on the way (& not just because i have the Gin;)) Sarah.xxx
S'alright, I have copious quantities of gin, tonic, ice and slice, as my complementary therapy, together with ginger nuts and anything made by Green & Blacks......
Sue thank you for the light, it is very reassuring, unfortunately red wine tastes pants, so will stick with G & T!
I also have several bundles of positivity given to me by all sorts of lovely people, both virtually and in reality and I'm happy to share when required.
SJ xx
To stay calm and carryon
I am seeing onc today for treatment plan...have had WLE and SNB...nodes affected but no further surgery due to sleep apnea...your first posting was so moving and so true...this site has been my saviour on so many occasions...BC is just such a bummer but we can beat it....Alison
Also standing outside, coming in with you shortly. It might be dark at times but we'll never get lonely. We can share supplies. You might see me with a nice chilled glass of someting and something very calorific on a plate...oh and definitely my favourite pyjamas. We wil be kind to ourselves and do whatever it takes to get through x
Its six years since I trudged through the woods, but remember I was glad I had packed loads of trashy magazines, novels and dvds.. you can hide away in the woods and indulge in as much rubbish as you want.. nobody will know but us....
Great thread. I am armed with torch, gin, red wine, sweets, chocolate and about to set off on Monday. Positive thinking is dragging her heels behind me, hopefully she'll catch me up by Monday. Looking towards the first signs of spring. See you in there to share supplies! Rachel xxx
To Pinkrose
Positive Thinking might be dragging her feet behind you but least you know she's there somewhere! I'm sure she will catch up and if i see her on my travels i'll give her a nudge on.
x
I've sent Laughsinthefaceofdanger to give Positive Thinking a good boot up the backside, so she should be with you very shortly.
Anyone with alcohol supplies will be a welcome sight - not fussy whether red wine/gin/beer or vodka.. though Baileys might make me start a hasty jog towards you!!
Enid Blyton wood is good - magic faraway tree is in there somewhere, and that's a place I haven't visited since childhood!
Sophie xx
Perhaps someone could give Positive Thinking a nudge in my direction....thought I was alright about tomorrow (FEC2) but as it gets closer, it's a lot darker....
She can meet me in the church for the carol service I am going to before I go.......this is normally the real start of Xmas for me, and I am hoping that Positive Thinking will be there too as I sing along with 600 boys - it's always an uplifting experience, and I am hoping that'll be even more so tomorrow.
Just realised that sending Laughsinthefaceofdanger off to sort Positive Thinking out has meant that I have neither at MY back for tomorrow... any fresh ideas on what reinforcements I could call in?
Ok.
Positive Thinking is good, but we know that she has her flaws she tends to make a run for it just when you need her. May I introduce you to her little known sister 'Bring-IT-on'.
Bring-IT-on will only appear when Positive Thinking has deserted her post. She looks in disdain at the trail left by Positive Thinking in her hasty retreat. This sister means business!! She knows it's scary - thats why Positive Thinking cleared off but she knows there is no choice. She knows you would rather be doing something else the week before xmas but she knows there is no choice. She KNOWS you can do it.
Bring-IT-on has her gloves off. Let her hold your hand and take you to that scary place. Close your eyes, keep walking, it will pass.
xx
Woods are magical places full of wonders you never see from the outside
Reeb x
May I just add having been through the woods over the past year, they are never as scary on the other side as they are before you enter!!.
good luck, the ends do justify the means
Hi All,
just wanted to say to those of you stepping into the woods today/next cpl of days, that remember we are all going to be with you at some point, some are ahead & some are behind but we can & will do it together & look at all the supplies we have got together in the last few days, we will do this journey together
Take care & love & best wishes to us all. Sarah.xxxx
Looking into the wood all I saw was a dark, dark inhospitable place. Slowly I walked through and managed to get on a footpath which slowly led me through into a glade. I followed this and sometimes nearly veered off into the dark place again. I kept on the path and finally have come through the other side. looking back, the dark wood is a scary place but not unbeatable. You will come through it, horrible as it may be and hopefully reach the open spaces and sunshine once again.
Well, took my first steps in and didn't fall flat on my face
PICC line put in with no probs at all, then straight to chemo ward, where they were waiting with open arms - and we were home by lunchtime. Feeling a little 'odd' and tired, but (touch wood, and at least in the woods there are plenty of tree trunks to grab in a superstitious moment) - nothing too bad as yet. Even managed to eat some chocolate and it still tastes good.
I know that it may be a little darker round the corner, but for now the glade I am in is touched by only dappled shadow - don't be afraid - come join me and see
xxxx
(Positive Thinking never showed up - but S*d It let's Get Going was there to gee me on, passing her back to help out the next traveller)
Positive Thinking needs a good kick. She is totally annoying, especially as most people suggest that's the first thing you turn to.
Glad the wood is fairly pleasant at the mo, give me a couple of days and i'll be crashing in. You will probably hear my 'jungle cry'!
Have provisions of 'Bring-IT-On', 'laughinthefaceofdanger', 'S*ditandgetonwithit' as well as 'Don'tyouknowihavecancerthereforeigetthelastbitofcake' and 'Gin' (Gin isn't an acronym, it's just Gin'). I
If i find the dappled glade i will sit and picnic for a bit just to get my bearings, all are welcome to join me.
xx